PANN.NATE POST, BY SON #1, 2015.06.26
English version. Originally posted here
저는 이정희의 큰 아들입니다 [I am the eldest son of Lee Jung Hee]
I am Jung Hee Lee's first son.
I am writing this statement for the first time to you all.
It is true that I was raped by my biological father.
I am right now residing in a mental hospital because of the trauma that I experienced.
I am in intense pain and because of the trauma that I experienced because of my biological father and my grandfather.
When I was a kid, my grandfather would always tell me to sleep with him at night and I did.
Whenever I did, when I'm laying down next to him, he would insert his finger in my anus and he would stick his penis inside of my anus.
He told me to never tell anyone and I was very scared.
The pain was so intense that I would cry in silence.
I would cry in silence because if my grandfather found out, he would tell me to "shut up or i'll kill you."
Also, whenever I was in the bathroom, my father would always say that he'll take a shower with me and I was scared that if I said no, he would beat me to death.
When I was taking a shower with him, he would put soap on his penis and on my anus so that it can act as a lubricant and then he would insert it.
Again, the pain was intense and I couldn't do anything about it.
Whenever my father and my grandfather would rape me, I would feel sad and angry.
Sad because I couldn't to anything, and angry because I wanted to rip their head off with a knife.
Right now I am so angry because of the acts that they had done to me and especially to my family.
Nothing makes me more angry than the pain and agony that my father and my grandfather gave to my family and those who I loved.
Also, I was raped by the pastors that were at the church that we attended when we lived at Busan.
Those two pastors did the same thing that my father and grandfather did to me and my family.
They inserted their penis in my anus and my anus would bleed because of the pain.
And after they were done, they would ejaculate their semen on my body and in my mouth, it was the same thing for my father and my grandfather.
When my dad was in the bathroom, my brother and I were inside with him and when we were inside, he would urinate in my mouth and in my brothers mouth.
The taste was disgusting and I felt like I was going to throw up.
When my dad left the bathroom, my brother and I would get the shower head and we would rinse our mouths with it until the taste wore out.
I know that I will never lose this trauma.
I never had a dream.
I am right now hopeless, but since people are helping us, I would want to live.
This pain I feel is not a lie.
I would want to live with freedom in my life and because everyone is helping us right now I am very thankful.
Please help and believe us.
Thank you for your time.
I am writing this statement for the first time to you all.
It is true that I was raped by my biological father.
I am right now residing in a mental hospital because of the trauma that I experienced.
I am in intense pain and because of the trauma that I experienced because of my biological father and my grandfather.
When I was a kid, my grandfather would always tell me to sleep with him at night and I did.
Whenever I did, when I'm laying down next to him, he would insert his finger in my anus and he would stick his penis inside of my anus.
He told me to never tell anyone and I was very scared.
The pain was so intense that I would cry in silence.
I would cry in silence because if my grandfather found out, he would tell me to "shut up or i'll kill you."
Also, whenever I was in the bathroom, my father would always say that he'll take a shower with me and I was scared that if I said no, he would beat me to death.
When I was taking a shower with him, he would put soap on his penis and on my anus so that it can act as a lubricant and then he would insert it.
Again, the pain was intense and I couldn't do anything about it.
Whenever my father and my grandfather would rape me, I would feel sad and angry.
Sad because I couldn't to anything, and angry because I wanted to rip their head off with a knife.
Right now I am so angry because of the acts that they had done to me and especially to my family.
Nothing makes me more angry than the pain and agony that my father and my grandfather gave to my family and those who I loved.
Also, I was raped by the pastors that were at the church that we attended when we lived at Busan.
Those two pastors did the same thing that my father and grandfather did to me and my family.
They inserted their penis in my anus and my anus would bleed because of the pain.
And after they were done, they would ejaculate their semen on my body and in my mouth, it was the same thing for my father and my grandfather.
When my dad was in the bathroom, my brother and I were inside with him and when we were inside, he would urinate in my mouth and in my brothers mouth.
The taste was disgusting and I felt like I was going to throw up.
When my dad left the bathroom, my brother and I would get the shower head and we would rinse our mouths with it until the taste wore out.
I know that I will never lose this trauma.
I never had a dream.
I am right now hopeless, but since people are helping us, I would want to live.
This pain I feel is not a lie.
I would want to live with freedom in my life and because everyone is helping us right now I am very thankful.
Please help and believe us.
Thank you for your time.